If you’re reading this, it likely means you’ve lost someone you love. Just finding your way to this page might have taken all the energy you had today. If so, I want to start by saying: I’m so sorry.
Losing someone, whether suddenly or after a long illness, can make the world feel completely different. Time slows down. Food has no taste. The weight in your chest doesn’t let up. And yet somehow, the world around you keeps moving.
You might feel like life doesn’t feel real right now. Everything is happening around you, but it’s like you’re just watching it happen. If someone has told you to stay strong or move on, it probably felt empty. The truth is, there’s no right way to grieve and no deadline for feeling better.
You Are Not Alone, Even If It Feels That Way
Right now, grief might feel like a private ache no one else can understand. And in some ways, that’s true—your relationship with the person you lost was yours alone. But you are not the only one feeling lost, broken, or overwhelmed.
Around 60% of people who are grieving say they struggle just to function in daily life. More than half feel isolated or misunderstood. Many people worry that they’re grieving the wrong way or not healing fast enough.
If that sounds familiar, know this: you’re not doing it wrong. You’re grieving. That means your body, your thoughts, and your emotions are all trying to make sense of something that doesn’t make sense.
The Pain Changes, But It Doesn’t Just Go Away
At first, people might call, send messages, or drop off meals. But often, that stops after a few weeks. And for you, the pain is still there.
It can feel like everyone else is moving forward while you’re still standing in the same place.
Grief isn’t a straight line. Some days might feel easier. Other days, out of nowhere, you’re right back in it. Birthdays, anniversaries, and holidays can feel especially hard.
Grief doesn’t just affect your heart—it can show up in your body too. Nearly 70% of people report physical symptoms during grief, like exhaustion, headaches, or trouble sleeping. Your body is grieving too.
If your relationship with the person you lost was complicated, that can bring up guilt, confusion, or anger. Those emotions are real. Grief isn’t just about missing someone. It’s about the weight of everything that person meant to you.
A More Compassionate Way to Grieve: Continuing Bonds
A lot of people think they’re supposed to let go to heal. But newer research says something different. The Continuing Bonds theory tells us that it’s okay—and even healing—to keep a connection with the person who’s gone.
That might look like:
- Talking to them in your head or out loud
- Writing them letters
- Keeping something that belonged to them
- Visiting a place they loved
- Saying their name
These aren’t signs that you’re stuck. They’re signs that your love is still present, even if the person isn’t.
How Therapy Can Help You Through Grief
For some people, getting out of bed is the biggest thing they can do today. So the thought of talking to someone might feel overwhelming. But therapy isn’t about being strong. It’s about having a space where you can be however you are, without needing to explain or hide anything.
Grief therapy can give you:
- A safe place to tell your story
- Support for emotions that feel too big to handle alone
- Help navigating difficult days, like anniversaries or holidays
- A way to understand guilt, regret, or anger
There’s no one right way to do therapy. You can cry, talk, be silent, draw, or just sit. All of it is okay.
Studies show that therapy helps people feel less overwhelmed, especially after sudden or traumatic loss. It doesn’t erase the grief, but it can make it easier to carry.
You’re Not Broken. You’re Grieving.
Grief can feel like everything has fallen apart. And in many ways, that’s exactly what has happened. But it doesn’t mean you’re broken. It means you loved someone, and now you’re trying to live in a world without them.
With time, and with the right care, grief often softens. It doesn’t disappear, but it becomes something you can live with. Life may start to feel less heavy. You might notice color returning to places that felt grey.
If this is your beginning and you’re just starting to figure out how to live with this loss, please go gently. And if you ever feel ready, maybe therapy can be a space to lay down some of the weight you’ve been carrying.
You don’t have to do this alone. You never did.