Therapy for Children & Teens

“A person’s a person, no matter how small.””

-Dr. Seuss

I am experienced working with children, teens, and families in various settings. I’m passionate about child advocacy and have published and consulted in these areas. I have expertise working with these issues:

Anxiety and panic
Grief and loss
Depression
School-related problems
Abuse and neglect, trauma and post-traumatic stress
Parental divorce and custody issues
Serious medical illness

Anxiety and panic

Anxiety disorders, including generalized anxiety, panic disorder, social anxiety, and various phobias, are quite common in children and teens. These disorders are characterized by excessive worry, behavior changes, bodily symptoms, and/or sleep and appetite changes. Often your child will try to cope by avoiding the situations, places, or people where the anxiety attack has occurred. However, this usually only serves to make the problem worse.
     Anxiety disorders are caused by a combination of biological predispositions, stress, and difficult life experiences. Successful treatments are available, including adult reassurance and support, “talk therapy,” and cognitive behavioral techniques (CBT) designed to teach emotional regulation and eliminate ineffective thinking patterns.
     At times, where a child has witnessed or been involved in a dangerous or frightening situation, I have accompanied the child and parent to the place where the stressor occurred for gradual exposure and desensitization to the feared situation.
     Along with individual therapeutic sessions, there are workbooks and videos I can suggest to you. Support groups are available locally and on the internet for parents and caregivers, as well as many excellent written resources.

Grief and loss

Giving support and comfort to a grieving child is a heartbreaking experience for the adults involved.

How children experience, understand, and cope with death depends on many factors such as the child’s age, developmental stage, the relationship with the loved one, the situation surrounding the loss, and the support available.

Often a child’s first encounter is the death of a grandparent, or a pet.

Losing a parent or sibling is a particularly traumatic experience. Traditionally, psychologists and mental health professionals have recommended that the most healthy way to support children who are coping with the loss of a parent or sibling, is to help them initially express their feelings, work through and resolve their grief, find “closure,” and “move on.” The adults around the child often stop mentioning the loved one’s name and remove all pictures and distressing reminders.

Continuing Bonds theory looks at grief in a different way. According to this theory, healing is a continuing process. It is not pathological, but rather normal and comforting, for the bereaved child to maintain an ongoing inner connection with

their loved one that evolves throughout their life. There are many ways that adults can help them to keep the memory alive such as planting trees, making art objects out of the lost one’s belongings, or looking at pictures or videos.

There are a variety of resources available to help children with grief, among them individual therapy, grief support groups, camps, and books and materials for children of all ages and the adults who support them.

Depression

Children of all ages can experience depression and may exhibit a variety of symptoms such as denial, anger, aggression, sleep and behavior problems. Therapy, and medication if needed, can be very effective in helping them heal.

More information on depression can be found in the Therapy for Adults section of this website.

School-related problems, learning and special needs

Students often encounter such issues as learning problems and special needs, peer relationships, social anxiety, and bullying.
     The federal government has developed a large number of resources to help children with learning problems or other special needs. Schools have resources to evaluate the problem and can offer services targeted to your student’s individual issues. As the therapist, I may suggest a referral for further testing; this can give us a more specific understanding of cognitive abilities, learning style and/ or disability, and psychological functioning. The testing psychologist writes a thorough report with recommendations for the parents and the school. The school can then develop an individualized education plan (IEP) for your child.
     Therapy can help if your child is anxious about peer relationships, school performance, or other concerns. Schools usually have school counselors who can meet your child to help, as well as small groups to teach social skills.
     Unfortunately bullying is still a major problem in schools and our society at large, and it can do long-term damage to its victims. Many children are afraid or ashamed to admit this is happening, so it is important to encourage your child to confide in you. It is heartbreaking and infuriating to learn that your child is being bullied. Parents as well as outside professionals (for example the therapist, law enforcement, child advocates, and attorneys) can intervene and insist that the bullying stop. All 50 states have anti-bullying laws, but sometimes schools can be unresponsive, so you may have to insist that they take your child’s situation seriously. If things do not improve, sometimes it is best to consider changing your child’s school.

Abuse and neglect, trauma and post-traumatic stress

As a psychologist, I am a mandated reporter and thus obligated to report any suspected abuse or neglect of a child. Our ethical and legal guidelines as well as those of child protective services require an immediate referral and do not allow us to investigate the validity of an allegation before reporting.
Physical, sexual and emotional abuse as well as neglect are very damaging to children and often require extensive therapy to ameliorate symptoms and promote long-term healing. Often, these children have a disrupted family situation. Hopefully, they are involved with child protection or the legal system and may have additional professionals helping them in those areas.

When your child has had a traumatic experience, therapy, either short or long-term, can be vital to their recovery.
There are many resources for family members also, such as books, support groups, and non-profit organizations.

Parental divorce, custody issues, and reunification therapy

When parents are divorcing, most children, sometimes with the help of therapy, can adjust successfully to a parental divorce. There are many other resources available for parents, including attorneys and psychologists who offer mediation, and professionals who serve as parent coordinators.

Some parents, however, will become involved in a custody dispute; these can be fought out in court over many years, costing thousands of dollars and leaving years of bitterness. Some children will become estranged from one parent even to the point of refusing to see him or her.

Some cases of estrangement involve a child who appears to have a valid reason for his or her reluctance, such as in cases of prior abuse. In other case, one parent may be adamantly opposed to reunification or may try to alienate the child from the other parent. In some difficult cases the court orders reunification therapy for the reluctant child, which has recently become a recognized specialty area.

Serious medical illness

Children who are seriously ill are subjected to many doctors, intrusive and painful medical procedures, and face the possibility of dying. Both the parents and the child need extensive support. This support is best obtained from specialists in this area, often social workers or psychologists in a medical center. These centers are skilled in working with sick and dying children and their parents and often have teams of professionals in that setting as well as a list of referrals to therapists and support in the community.

Issues specific to teenagers

Adolescent years are stressful to many teens and families. Individual and family therapy can address these as well as school counselors and social skills groups.

The following are common problems:

depression and anxiety
bullying
conflict with parents
self-esteem
fitting in, popularity, peer pressure, grades
puberty, body image, sexuality, dating
social media and cyber safety
worries about the future, school shootings
risks of dating violence, teen pregnancy, excessive use of alcohol, illicit drugs and addiction
religious concerns

The therapy

Adolescents are more able than young children to talk directly about their concerns with the therapist. Working with parents can be complicated because teens have some rights of privacy, which need to be negotiated with the therapist, the teens and the parents. Children are often more comfortable dealing with problems while they’re playing. They naturally express themselves in play, which can help them understand their feelings, deal with difficult emotions, develop problem-solving skills, and heal from challenging situations. Therefore, my office is filled with games, dolls, action figures, and art supplies, as well as lentils and sand for sensory play, a calm and relaxing activity for children of all ages. I work closely with parents to help them understand and address their child’s feelings and behaviors, including meeting with them alone as well as together with their child.